Inside the Mind of a Competitor

A look into the mind of competitor Cody Lawyer. Cody shares an excerpt from her journal on some of the trials and tribulations of competing.

June 27, 2013
Inside the Mind of a Competitor

This is a very personal blog. I'm sharing an excerpt from my competition journal. Although my competition was three months ago, I hope this can help some of you women struggling to decide whether or not to compete.

2/9/13 (6 weeks out)
6 weeks out.... I’m feeling at an all time low today. Basically I was told I won't place well if I do figure, that bikini is the division for me. I'm torn... I have put 10 hard weeks into training already, spent $1050 on my suit... $100 on posing... $80 on heels... $120 on tickets for the family... ugg and have about $1000 more to spend. So I have two options:

1. Quit now and don't compete.

2. Compete anyway knowing I won't place well.

I promised myself from the beginning that placing is not what's important it's about bringing MY personal best to the stage. But with all the expenses involved I am second guessing myself now. My confidence is shot, one part of me wants to keep putting in my all and hope for the best. Then the other part of me wants to say to hell with competing, what am I thinking! My journey isn't over whether I step on stage or not... I need to eat, sleep, and reorganize my thoughts and go from there. Because right now I'm not thinking clearly. We'll see what the next 6 weeks bring.

Obviously after I ate and slept I continued to bust my butt for the next 6 weeks. I made up my mind (with some help from my husband) I didn't care if I placed dead last because that wasn't why I was competing. I was competing to prove to MYSELF that I could! It is hard to get that through your head when you put yourself out there to be critiqued by a panel of judges. As if we don't critique our flaws enough, right?! Not to mention being told by others we can't. Of course we all want to place and walk away with a trophy, but you have to remember you are already a winner before you even step on stage! When you step on stage you are bringing your very best, and most likely in the best shape of your life... THAT is an accomplishment that you should be proud of and not let it get tainted with a poor placement at a competition. You're placing will soon be forgotten but your attitude and memories stay with you forever!

*The pictures above are from 6 weeks out and my competition. I am waving to my family on the front row.