Success is a Mindset
Give your kids an edge on success by stretching their mindset.
Being a mom is a lot like being a super coach. You have a responsibility to show your kids what success looks like, leading by example. When you're coaching an athlete to prepare them for shows, you carry the weight of ensuring their success on your shoulders. This is what you have to do everyday as a mom. It’s up to you to ensure the success of your kids, but also understand that they too have to learn responsibility. Even competitors must learn how to follow directions, trust and listen to their coach while at the same time understand the outcome is ultimately up to them. At some point, you also have to let go when it comes to your kids, remain steady and just be there if they really need you. The best life lesson you can teach is fortitude!
Regardless of your past or where you are at this very moment, your dreams can still come true. You have to first consider what is it that you want. If you’re entering your first competition, for example, you need to have an idea of what your ultimate goal is, and then plan ahead for your stages of success. Map it out by writing it down. The psychology of writing down your goals in this way is very powerful. And that power extends beyond just competing; you can take the same approach to success with your kids, too. As a coach, I always ask my amateur competitor’s questions like, “When you make the top five, do you know which national show you would like to target? Do you hope to one day compete at the Olympia or are you doing this as a sport for fun? It’s very important when approaching any goal to be clear on your intentions. Teaching this to your kids early on in life is crucial, as it will help them learn to pave the way for themselves with their own goals.
It’s also important as a mom to be a reasonably progressive thinker. You want what you want for yourself and your kids because it will enhance the experience of your lives. Most people only focus on what is practical—what they want and what is needed to make it happen. It’s not enough to just reach goals. You also have to learn to enjoy the journey, good or bad. Of course there will be some bumps in the road, and you may not always get the result you wanted, but you have to keep moving forward.
Teaching your children to be resilient in the face of adversity is an important life tool. One year my daughter played Jr. Varsity Soccer and was a star athlete, only to play Varsity the next year and spend a lot of time on the bench. She could have easily quit the team and moved on, but quitting wasn’t an option. She made the most of it by still cheering her team on from the sidelines. Sometimes we have to take a backseat, realize that we may still have things we need to improve upon, and simply just have faith and trust in the journey. It’s like when you first pushed them off on that bike and said, “Now you are ready—go!” They may have wound up mangled with the bike on top them a time or two, but it didn’t stop them from ever riding a bike again. My daughter got back up and eventually learned how to ride a bike better than me!
Ultimately, your experience in this lifetime is up to you. If you work at it and do a good job, the outcome will often surprise you—and even if it’s not what you had hoped for there’s opportunity for growth on some level. That’s what I teach my clients as a coach and it’s what I teach my children as a mom.