Be Your Best Self

Let your best self shine through by bringing your all to the table every day.

April 16, 2013
Be Your Best Self

We fit chicks always tend to be a little hard on ourselves. We’re always pushing ourselves a little more, or even just telling ourselves that we have to do better. We aren't content with much, and sometimes this carries over into other parts of our lives. I know I always expect everyone around me to act like I do. I don't buy into excuses when it comes to my clients, and I definitely don't tolerate working "just enough" or "under par." That's unacceptable to me; actually, more like unheard of!

I have struggled with this my whole life, always trying to be little Miss Super Toni. Ultimately, this led to a long struggle with eating disorders. I battled anorexia and bulimia, requiring extensive treatment three times starting at the age of 12. I just couldn't let go of being perfect. Why not? It was possible... until I realized how damn selfish and immature that was. Perfect doesn't exist. You can work your ass off and give it your all, but you have to be ready to fall, get hurt, get dirty, get crapped on, feel like crap, and even just accept that your all in that moment is just going to have to been enough. It was so difficult to understand at the beginning, probably why I fell back into the trap a couple more times.

The funny thing is, it was the sport of bodybuilding that saved my life. Although you are up on stage fighting for the nod of approval and good callouts from the judging panel, you have to take the emphasis away from everyone else. The prep leading up to it is all about stringing together 12, 16 or even 20 weeks of training and strict nutrition, preceded by a preparatory offseason focused on improving your physique. This journey taught me to find approval and comfort in myself; still giving it my all but understanding that slip ups, fall downs, and mistakes were going to make me stronger and more experienced. Every time I step on stage, I focus on beating my previous best, bringing an improved package and just having fun. It's an honor to step on stage with the best ladies in the world, but you have to find the fun in it and shine bright like the diamond that you are. Just make sure you put your all into shining and shaping it leading up it.

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