Let Go of the Need for Approval
IFBB pro Toni Perdikakis shares advice on how to let go of the need for approval when it comes to decision making and start thriving on your own
We are all guilty of it, even from a young age; it’s how we would get attention, approval, and affection. In some ways, it’s just like my puppies when they sit down and wait for a treat, yet we are human. Hmm… So what is it I am talking about exactly, you ask? Somewhere along the line, we missed the lesson of being able to offer ourselves the approval and self-love that we need and thrive off of. We wait for others' nods and encouragement to know that we are doing a good job or headed in the right direction. That feeling of doing well or succeeding comes from within; the decision to act or behave in a certain way comes from within; so where in the heck did we all of a sudden start looking to everyone else to see if we are wrong or right?
We, ladies, always look to our friends for the good ole' relationship advice, which is totally cool because we have to stick together to deal with these knuckleheads (hehe!), but what about when it comes down to the advice part? Why are we always so quick to be able to guide our friends in the right direction, but making the same mistakes over and over again when it comes to our own lives? Same thing goes for diet or fitness advice; you have no idea how many colleagues of mine have great education and experience to back them and they can give the best guidance to their clients, yet when it comes to themselves, they second guess all day long. I am even guilty of it; I am notorious for spending the two days before my show going back and forth on if I am flat or watery or any other adjective I can pull out of my behind, when I know exactly what to do. It all boils down to trust; in yourself; and what is funny is that this trust is just like a muscle, it needs to be exercised, stretched, and nourished.
So here is how it works: the next time you are faced with a decision or a dilemma, stop and think about the problem at hand. Are you ready for this one? Make the decision yourself! Even if it ends up being the wrong decision, who cares?! Eventually, you will get it right. That one good decision will give you just enough oomph for your next big one. It’s all about the baby steps; one foot in front of the other until you realize how far you have come. When it comes to the actual decision and thought process, think about what you would advise your best friend to do in your situation. Sometimes we tend to treat others with a lot more love and respect than we treat ourselves. We are human and sometimes we do silly things, but as long as we live and learn, we are headed down the right path!